Sometimes in our lives we find ourselves “Between a rock and a hard place.” Even if you were not already familiar with that phrase, as a human being, you would recognize the situation that it conjures up. Sometimes there just doesn’t seem like there is a solution for your problem, or that no matter what you do, you will fail, get hurt, or otherwise be unable to overcome the odds. These circumstances can make even the wisest of men and women want to crumple and cry. Everyone has been there. Some of us have been there more than others. So, what do you do when you find yourself in such a stalemate?
This is one of the most transformational practices I have discovered and perhaps the most counter-intuitive: stop thinking about it. I’m serious. This practice has been around for thousands of years and is described in every religion, in every philosophy. The science behind how it actually works is a little confusing and has to do with how our subconscious is constantly collecting data points outside of our awareness – but if you stop thinking about it, stop worrying, and the best solution will kind of bubble to the surface.
The hardest part of this practice is that IT DOES NOT WORK IF YOU ARE STRESSED. If you are in fight-or-flight, your secret problem-solving-sleuth of your subconscious doesn’t have a chance to do it’s thing. When you find yourself in an impossible-to-solve situation, keeping your calm so that your background processor can work may sound like a extra level of impossible! It’s not, I promise.
Here’s how the practice breaks down in real life:
Step 1: Acceptance
It doesn’t do ANY good to go back through the events/decisions/mistakes that got you here. You can’t change the past. You can’t change the consequences of the past. All you can do is make a better decision today, right now. Accepting that is the first step. It also doesn’t help to feel sorry for yourself, or have a pity party, or identify yourself as a victim. Simply accept that you are where you are, and dealing with something crappy. It’s part of life. There is crappy stuff. A lot of really great stuff, but a lot of crappy stuff too. You just can’t have one without the other. It’s a package deal.
Step 2: Set Your Intention
Once you have accepted that you are in a stalemate situation and that you cannot go back into the past to avoid it, you have to set your intention to solve your impossible problem. There is a way out for you to persevere, it’s just hidden, and you are going to have to use your subconscious to find it. Our subconscious mind is literally the most powerful tool we have at our disposal. It sifts through millions of data points every second, connecting and categorizing information at speeds far greater than are ever possible in the conscious mind. So, to practice this method, all you are doing with your conscious mind is setting your intention to solve the issue – then forget about it – literally let the idea of finding the solution dissolve – and release the responsibility to your subconscious. Depending on your belief, you may prefer to “give it to God”, release it to “Divine Intelligence,” or allow it to go to your Higher Self.
Step 3: Internal Focus
Once you have set your intention, you have to stop looking for answers outside of yourself. They aren’t there. Your answer is within. Especially in this era of abundant information at your fingertips, we look for all of our answers in the world around us – or we just Google it. The answers you need in this situation are within. You have to be quiet and listen. This is where a mediation practice is so important. Practicing meditation is literally practicing being quiet. Unless you can be quiet, you cannot hear. This is the truth of ANY conversation. It is no different when you are communicating with your subconscious/God/Divine Intelligence/Higher Self.
Step 4: Pay Attention to “Signs”
The last step is to be quiet, listen, and pay attention to possible bread crumbs. The way our subconscious collects data and sends impressions of reality into our conscious mind is fascinating! Without getting into the science of how this works- lets just say that if you are paying attention, and you have followed this process so far, suddenly you will notice things. It could be a repeating number, or a phrase that shows up in a TV show, then in unrelated conversation, then in the book you are reading. Maybe you get a call out of nowhere, or it could show up in your social media feed. The key to this is not to actually look for it, but recognize it when it appears. This is a very subtle but very important difference. If you are trying to make connections happen then you will start interpreting everything as a sign and will not have any clearer an answer, but if you are patiently being aware, then the signs will become apparent.
Step 5: Take Action
This is where people screw this method up, and certainly takes some practice. You have to correctly identify the cues your subconscious, God, or your Higher Self are giving you, and take action. Once you realize that “this is the way out,” you have to move, and move quickly. Often these doors do not stay open long, and too much hesitation could leave you still in your rough spot. HOWEVER, being hasty and jumping for a solution that isn’t exactly right can have the same poor consequences. It’s about finding that goldilocks zone where it’s just the right solution at just the right time. While yes, this takes practice, the practice just has to do with trusting your gut – you have to recognize the strength of the signals from your intuition, and when they are red hot, it’s time to move.
Thats it! Now, the first time reading through this it may seem clear as mud, or even ridiculous. However, if you read through it a few times, I hope it begins to make sense. Truthfully, you have to do it for it to really sink in how this works. Good luck!
You got this!
Talk soon,
-Michael
